Nash Shaq-Fu'd

Here's Shaq, wearing one of his more subdued ensembles.

Word on the street is that Shaq stole the idea for his reality show "Shaq vs." from former Suns teammate, 2-time NBA MVP and all-around good guy Steve Nash.

In return, Nash DID NOT steal Shaq's expanding playbook for shameless self-promotion, runaway ego, and tragic overexposure.

Is She a He?

This is 18-year-old South African 800 meter runner Caster Semenya. SHE just won the gold medal in her event at the World Athletics Championships.

I guess they're calling "track and field" by the name "athletics" now...

What's Wrong With This Picture?

The 20th Century has numerous examples of men who competed as women on the world athletics stage. Skewerman wonders: does s/he shower with other competitors?

Sports Week Continues on Skewerman

Here's legendary QB Brett Farve, crying at the press conference where he first announced his retirement two seasons ago.

Today, the only tears shed are by NFL fans, who've had to endure yet another retirement reversal by Farve. The longtime Green Bay Packers quarterback today inked a deal to play for the NFC North division rival Minnesota Vikings.

We Feel Your Pain, Brett

Do I Even Need to Comment?

Skewerman entitles this little gem, "The Yankee Third Baseman Sucks".

He Who Shall Not Be Named

Here's the first in what's sure to be a long-running series of posts regarding the so-called "Yankee Third Baseman."

This little treat, which I call , "Beaten by the Smaller Man," is nothing less than the second most memorable play of the alleged former juicer's career.

Journey into the Duat

A British explorer has uncovered a previously uncharted network of catacombs beneath the Great Pyramid on the Giza plateau!

Next: The Emerald Tablets of Thoth

Those who know Skewerman understand that the subject of Egyptology is one I hold dear. It should come as no surprise that corrupt autocratic Egyptian bureaucrat Zahi Hawass, the so-called Minister of Antiquities for Egypt, stubbornly dismissed the finding by saying, "The are no new discoveries to be made at Giza."

Somewhere, crackpot author Graham Hancock is smiling, perhaps while being tickled by The Fingerprints of the Gods.

Barry Makes a Good Point

Barack Obama:

"Fedex and UPS are doing just fine. It's the Post Office that's always having problems."

Congrats, Barry. You took the words out right out of Rush Limbaugh's mouth.

Moron Coins Awesome New Term!

"Dirty" Harry Reid has done it again!

Reid calls town hall protesters "evil-mongers"

Dare we offer praise for the worst Senate Majority Leader since Trent Lott?

Oh, yeah, Lott was the last guy who held the job...

Karl Rove: Liar?

Whoa - two former "War on Terra" all-stars making Skewerman in the same day...what is this, 2005?

According to so-called "respectable" sources, Karl Rove lied about his role in the firings of federal prosecutors a few years back:

I Thought Rove's Mouth Only Opened to Eat or Lie, Not to Laugh

The strangest thing about Rove, to Skewerman, is that you'd expect the uber-scoundrelous mastermind of Bush's worst policies to have a bit more of an ee-ville appearance. Instead, he just looks like a chubby doofus.

Dick Cheney: Still Angry

But that's a little bit like saying that Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

In an article so creepy that the subject could ONLY be Dick Cheney, the former veep throws Dubya under the bus for being too soft, while offering high praise for Don "Rummy" Rumsfeld:

Cheney Rises from the Dead...Again

Still no word on whether Cheney has accepted the role of The Penguin in the new Batman movie.

Latest of the Fallen Boston Heroes

Skewerman never thought it would come to this:

Brady Shoots Off Mouth, Shoots Self in Foot

Of all the stories we'd hoped highlight for the rollout of the vaunted Skewerman Top 10 Athletes list, we figured the angle of Tom Brady disprespecting legendary coach Bill "KGB" Belichick would never have topped them all.

Hey, this brings up an series of points. Remember when Bob Kraft gave his Superbowl ring to Vlad Putin? Could it have been Putin who then prompted Belichick to use the techniques for which the coach was busted in the infamous "Spygate" scandal? Is Putin really the force behind all the Patriots' success? Inquiring readers of Skewerman want to know...

Lefty Columnist Rips Obama, Pelosi on Healthcare

Camille Paglia writes for Salon.com, the proverbial JFK of left-wing blogs. In this article, she skewers Obama and Pelosi, enumerating the many flaws in their pitching so-called "health care reform" to the American People:

Skewerman Doesn't Ordinarily Visit Salon.com

Amazingly, Paglia also references Kafka when commenting on the "death panel" controversy, and then she lambastes Henry Louis Gates, Jr.

On the downside, the third page of her article made me drool like Homer Simpson daydreaming about delicious hot dogs.

Skewerman Delves into Nerd-dom

Continuing with Skewerman's science theme, it seems that geeks are working on a computer that somehow duplicates the functionality of a human brain:

Picture Cooler than Article

Didn't the Japanese accomplish this years ago with Al Gore?

Cryptozoology and Skewerman

Hey, it's not all fuddy-duddy politics here at Skewerman. Biologists discovered a wide variety of previously unknown biological species in the Eastern Himalayas:

Not Yeti on the List

Here's a shot of the pick of the bunch - a flying tree frog!

How to Dress for an Interview

Brought to you by Skewerman fave Sarah Palin. Hey, hey...Skewerman thinks that those so-called "respectable" news organizations lambaste Mrs. Palin a little too much. But the question remains: which smells fishier: that thing she's holding, or the reasons she gave for resigning?

Putin Melts Hearts, Siberian Winter

Well, it's summer in Siberia. Nevertheless, Vlad continues his unbelievable run of awesomeness on Skewerman. This article, from a London newspaper, is a must-read:

Is There Anything Vlad Putin Can't Do?

Michelle Obama is Proud of Her Country

Does Barry pay the taxes he enacted on his own packs of lung darts?
Does Barry's status as a smoker make him ineligible for private health care coverage?
Would Barry have to pay higher premiums for his health insurance, because he's a smoker, if he didn't have the single greatest health plan in the world as POTUS?
How does a single payer, government-run health care system treat current and/or former smokers?

Top 10: Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri

"On al-ja-zee-rah today, I heard Dr. Ayman say
There's a jihad against infidels galore!
And he knows that isn't chill, so he's hiding in the hills
In a bunker or a shelter, he's Osama's little helper..."

- from "Osama's Little Helper" (sung to the tune of The Rolling Stones' Mother's Little Helper), written by Skewerman, circa 2002

Putin Tops Self

Not for nothing is Vlad Putin currently the #1 rated world leader on Skewerman. Check out his latest exploit:

Next Up for Putin: Fix Health Care?

For his next feat, Putin will go five rounds in the octagon with UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar. Either that, or he will force Barry into submission in a battle of, "One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war."

You Knew This Guy Would Make the List

This was Jesse's face after he learned his mic was open when he said he wanted to, "Cut (Barry's) nuts off..."

Large Man Gets Large Picture

Don't tease Vlad Putin about his man boobs - dude will karate chop the dickens out of you. And then he'll assign someone to follow you when you leave the house.

Pucker Up, Princess

I call this one, "Pelosi Meets Mary Tyler Moore". Congrats, Madame Speaker - you're now an official fave of Skewerman.

Skewerman Top 10: Mr. Ahmadinejad

His eyes aren't the only thing that are crazy.

Skewerman Lives

Skewerman is here! Stand by for adventure...